PAANO BA LUMIGAW SA PILIPINA?



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HARANA
ni Carlos V. Francisco


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SitwasyonNagtatanong ang Amerikano sa kaibigang binata tungkol sa pagligaw sa Pilipina.

BOB:

Paano ba lumigaw sa dalagang Pilipina?  Hindi ako maka-'first base'.  Ni ayaw makipag-kape sa akin si Amelia.

ERNIE:

Binigla mo naman yata.

BOB:

Hindi nga, e.  Ano ba ang dapat kong gawin?

ERNIE:

Duda siya sa iyo dahil maraming mga babae ang humahabol sa iyo.  Ma'nong sa akin humabol ang iba!

BOB:

Akala ko hindi na kagaya noong unang panahon ang ligawan ngayon.

ERNIE:

Depende.  Kahit nagmamadali ang Maynila, marami pa ring mahinhing dalaga na hindi makukuha sa bilis.

BOB:

Ano ang ibig mong sabihin?

ERNIE:

Kailangan kang magtiyaga at patunayan na talagang totoo ang iyong pagmamahal.

BOB:

Paano nga?

ERNIE:

Tutulungan kita.   Pakikiramdaman ko muna kung may gusto rin si Amelia sa iyo.

BOB:

Maaari ko kayang ayain sa konsiyerto sa Linggo?

ERNIE:

Hayaan mo muna...Teka, baka sumama kung iimbitahin mo rin si Lita, pinsan niya.

BOB:

Sige, mag-'double date' tayo, kung ganoon.  Papayag ba si Litang sumama sa iyo?

ERNIE:

Oo, kung kasama si Amelia.

BOB:

Ikaw na ang mangumbida.   Bibili na ako ng apat na 'ticket'.

ERNIE:

Magastos ligawan ang Pilipina, ano?


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WORDS

lumigaw

to court (a woman)

binibigla

to be too forward, aggressive with someone

duda

suspicious, unsure of (from Spanish duda, 'doubt'

mahinhin

modest, shy, very prim

magtiyaga

to persevere, to be patient

patunayan

to prove something

tunay

sincere, true

totoo

true, real

papayag

will agree

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LIGAWAN: COURTSHIP IN PHILIPPINE CULTURE

Panliligaw or ligawan are the Tagalog terms for courtship, which in some parts of the Tagalog-speaking regions is synonymous with pandidiga or digahan (from Spanish diga, 'to say, express').  Manliligaw is the one who courts a girl; nililigawan is the one who is being courted. 

In Philippine culture, courtship is far more subdued and indirect unlike in some Western societies.  A man who is interested in courting a woman has to be discreet and friendly at first, in order not to be seen as too presko or mayabang (aggressive or too presumptuous).  Friendly dates are often the starting point, often with a group of other friends.  Later, couples may go out on their own, but this is still to be done discreetly.  If the couple has decided to come out in the open about their romance, they will tell their family and friends as well. 

In the Philippines, if a  man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl.  It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl.  It is always expected that the guy must show his face to the girl's family.  And if a guy wants to be acceptable to the girl's family, he has to give pasalubong (gifts) every time he drops her family's house.   It is said that in the Philippines, courting a Filipina means courting her family as well.

In courting a Filipina, the metaphor often used is that playing baseball.  The man is said to reach 'first base' if the girl accepts his proposal to go on a date for the first time.  Several dates is like reaching the second and third bases.  A 'home-run' is one where the girl formally accepts the man's love, and they become magkasintahan (from sinta, love), a term for boyfriend-girlfriend. 

During the old times and in the rural areas of the Philippines, Filipino men would make harana (serenade) the women  at night and sing songs of love and affection.  This is basically a Spanish influence.  The man is usually accompanied by his close friends who provide moral support for the guy, apart from singing with him. 

Filipino women are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance.   By being pakipot, the girl tells the man that he has to work hard to win her love.  It is also one way by which the Filipina will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer.  Some courtships could last years before the woman accepts the man's love. 

A traditional dalagang Pilipina (Filipinpa maiden) is someone who is mahinhin (modest, shy, with good upbringing, well-mannered) and does not show her admirer that she is also in love with him immediately.  She is also not supposed to go out on a date with several men.  The opposite of mahinhin is malandi (flirt), which is taboo in Filipino culture as far as courtship is concerned.

After a long courtship, if the couple later decide to get married, there is the Filipino tradition of pamamanhikan (from panik, to go up the stairs of the house), where the man and his parents visit the woman's family and ask for her parents blessings to marry their daughter.  It is also an occasion for the parents of the woman to get to know the parents of the man.

During pamamanhikan, the man and his parents bring some pasalubong (gifts).  It is also at this time that the wedding date is formally set, and the couple become engaged to get married. 

- Noel M. Morada

 


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1.  Bakit hindi maka-'first base' si Bob kay Amelia?

2.  Ano ang ibig sabihin ng 'kahit nagmamadali ang Maynila?

3.  Totoo pa aba na mahirap ligawan ang mga Pilipina sa ngayon?

4.  Ano raw ang dapat na katangian ng manliligaw?

5.  Paano niya ipapakita ito?

6.  Saan gustong kumbidahin ni Bob si Amelia?

7.  Ano ang naisip ni Bob para sumama si Amelia?

8.  Bakit daw magastos ang lumigaw sa Pilipina?


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TAGALOG CONNECTORS

The following are connectors in Tagalog sentences:

dahil (sa) 'because of'
kaya 'therefore'
kahit (na) 'even though'
habang 'while'
kung 'if'
kapag 'whenever'
kasi 'because'
bago 'before'
nang 'when'
na 'that




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Combine the following sentences using the appropriate connectors listed above.

1.  Umalis siya.  Bumagyo.

     ________________________________.

2.  Magpahinga ka.  Natutulog ang may sakit.

     __________________________________.

3.  Hindi siya nakaalis.  Wala siyang pera.

     __________________________________.

4.  Pinalo siya ng tatay.  Lumayas si Mario.

     _________________________________.

5.  Nagalit muna ang maestra.   Sumagot ang estudyante.

    __________________________________________.

6.  Patay na ang ilaw sa bahay.   Dumating siya.

     _______________________________________.

7.  Isusi mo ang pinto.  Aalis ka.

     ____________________________________.

8.  Pumutok ang goma ng aking kotse.   May pako sa kalye.

     _____________________________________________.

9.  Malakas ang ulan.  Nagputik ang kalye.

     _____________________________________.

10.  Nabasag ang ulo ng babae.   Nadulas siya sa balat ng saging.

       ________________________________________________.

 

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Expressions used to describe a good traditional tutor:

Nagsisilbi sa pamilya ng babae.

Matiyaga at mapagmahal.

Maalalahanin.

Magalang sa magulang at kamag-anak ng dalaga.

Galante at laging may dalang pasalubong.

Malinis at makisig.

Di mapagsamantala.

Umakyat ng ligaw sa takdang oras.

Iginagalang ang dalaga.

Marunong makiramdam.

Expressions used to describe a traditional Filipina as a role model:

Mahinhin.

Hindi ipinaaalam kung napupusuan ang binata.  

Hindi nakikipag-'date' sa iba't ibang lalake.

Hindi nakikipagtagpo ng palihim sa manliligaw.


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Recreate or improvise a variation of the dialog at the beginning of this lesson by having Ernie advise an American friend how to court a Filipina.  Tell him how a Filipina behaves when courted.

Prepare a dialog, this time having Ernie ask an American how to date an American. 


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